Reviewed by The Mom Store editorial team, October 2026. See our editorial policy.
The safest way to sleep close to your baby is to share a room but not a bed: your baby sleeps in their own cot, crib or Moses basket next to your bed for at least the first 6 months. Bed sharing is common in Indian homes and is a family tradition for many, but it carries real risks, and in some situations it is genuinely dangerous. This post separates the two and explains what to do if your baby ends up in your bed anyway.
Room sharing and bed sharing are not the same thing
"Co sleeping" is used for two different arrangements. Room sharing means your baby sleeps on their own separate surface in your room. Bed sharing means your baby sleeps on the same bed or mattress as you.
Room sharing is what health bodies recommend. The NHS guidance on reducing the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) says to put your baby in a separate cot or Moses basket in the same room as you for every sleep for at least the first 6 months. The American Academy of Pediatrics, in its parent's guide to safe sleep, gives the same 6 month advice and says room sharing can lower the risk of SIDS by as much as 50%. It also makes night feeds, comforting and checking on your baby much easier, which covers most of the reasons families choose to bed share in the first place.
What the experts say about bed sharing
Advice differs a little between countries. The AAP advises parents to avoid bed sharing with their baby under any circumstances. The NHS and the UK charity The Lullaby Trust say the safest place is a separate cot, but accept that many parents do share a bed, and give steps to make it less risky.
Both agree that some situations make bed sharing very dangerous. According to the NHS and The Lullaby Trust's co sleeping advice, do not share a bed with your baby if:
- you or anyone in the bed smokes, even if you never smoke in bed or near the baby
- you or your partner have had alcohol (the NHS says 2 or more units) or taken recreational drugs
- you have taken any medicine that makes you drowsy
- your baby was born before 37 weeks or weighed less than 2.5kg at birth
The AAP says the risk of sleep related death is more than 10 times higher when a baby shares a bed with someone who is very tired, has taken sedating medicine, or has used alcohol or drugs. Exhaustion is worth taking seriously here, since almost every new parent is short on sleep.
Never sleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair
This is the clearest warning in all three sources. The AAP puts the risk at up to 67 times higher when a baby sleeps with someone on a couch, soft armchair or cushion, and The Lullaby Trust explains that babies can slip into a position where they are trapped and cannot breathe. If you feel yourself dozing off with your baby on a sofa, a diwan or a cushioned chair, put the baby down somewhere safe first.
If your baby does end up in your bed
Many mothers fall asleep while feeding at night. The AAP suggests putting your baby back in their own sleep space before you go to sleep, and moving them back as soon as you wake if you did drift off. If you think you might fall asleep, clear the bed first. The NHS and The Lullaby Trust list these steps to make a shared bed safer:
- Lay your baby on their back, on a firm, flat mattress.
- Keep pillows, sheets, blankets and quilts away from your baby.
- Make sure your baby cannot fall out or get trapped between the mattress and the wall, or in the bed frame or headboard.
- Do not have other children or pets in the bed at the same time.
- Do not swaddle your baby in a shared bed; the NHS says a baby sleeping bag is safer.
- Never leave your baby alone in an adult bed.
Grandparents or older siblings sleeping alongside a baby face the same risks, so the same rules apply to anyone sharing the bed.
Keeping closeness without sharing a bed
Closeness matters, and you do not lose it by using a cot. A cot or crib pushed right up beside your bed keeps your baby within arm's reach for feeds and settling. The AAP notes that breast milk lowers the risk of SIDS, and the longer a baby has it, the more protection it gives, so room sharing that makes night feeds easier is a good thing in itself. Skin to skin cuddles, feeding and a calm bedtime routine all happen while you are awake, and our post on the importance of hugging your child has more on everyday closeness.
A few other basics from the same sources apply wherever your baby sleeps: always on their back for naps and at night, nothing soft in the sleep space, a room that is not too warm (the NHS suggests about 16 to 20C, which in an Indian summer may mean a fan rather than extra layers), and no smoking anywhere near the baby, including outside.
It is normal to feel torn about this, especially when family members slept with their own babies and see a cot as cold or unnecessary. Showing them the guidance itself can help.
This article updates an earlier post by Dipannita Das.
This article is general information and does not replace advice from your doctor.
