Reviewed by The Mom Store editorial team, October 2026. See our editorial policy.
Yes, I believe equal parenting is worth it, but not in the way it is often shown. It is not a fifty fifty timetable or something couples do to be praised by others. It means both parents take real responsibility for raising their child: the feeds and nappies, the doctor visits, the school WhatsApp group, the worrying and the decisions.
For a long time, raising children was treated as the mother's job and earning as the father's. Money matters, of course. But a child also needs physical care, emotional support and someone to show up for the school function, and there is no rule that says only one parent can give these.
What equal parenting means
Equally shared parenting is a journey rather than a target. It does not need validation from anyone. Many new parents enjoy the comments they get, like "oh, wow, both are sharing their responsibility as parents. It's so nice to see." That feels good for a day. What actually keeps it going is trust and respect between the two of you.
In practice, it looks different in every home. One parent may do the morning routine and the other bedtime. One may handle the paediatrician and vaccinations while the other keeps track of school. What matters is that neither parent is the "helper" and both know enough about the child's day to step in without being told what to do.
Your child notices this too. Children learn what families look like by watching their own.
The challenges
Family and society
When a couple decides to share parenting equally, it often goes against how their own parents raised them. The pushback usually comes from:
- Family, especially elders
- Relatives
- Society at large
Instead of appreciating the effort, people are often quick with remarks and advice. A father changing nappies at a family function may get teased; a mother going back to work may be asked who is "looking after" the baby. It helps to agree between yourselves on how you will respond, and to remember that you do not owe anyone an explanation.
Differences between the two of you
Every person comes with their own ideas about discipline, food, screen time and sleep, mostly shaped by how they were raised. Your ideologies about life may differ, and that is fine. But on the important parenting decisions you need to be on the same page, or at least agree on who decides what. Neither partner should act as the authority over the other.
Mistakes in front of the child
Fathers who are new to hands on parenting are learning, just as mothers are. If your partner gets something wrong, talk about it later when your child is not around. Correcting each other like a teacher in front of the child confuses them about who to listen to, and it makes the other parent less likely to try again.
Why it is worth the effort
When couples walk this journey as a team, neither parent carries the whole load. Both know the child's routines, friends, fears and favourite foods. If one parent falls ill or has a demanding month at work, the other can carry on without the house falling apart.
It also takes the pressure off perfection. You will both make mistakes, and that is part of it. Sharing the work means sharing the tired days and the proud ones.
Whether you are both working, one of you is at home, or one freelances, equal parenting is possible. It simply looks different in each family. For more on the example parents set, read how to be an example as parents.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of The Mom Store.
